Just Friends
by Ricepaper.Butterfly
Summary: I know this is better than nothing, to be just friends, but it’s still painful. I don’t know where to start, how to just strike up a conversation like we used to. It used to be so easy... Mitchie/Mikayla Demi/Selena Semi Demena ? Mitchayla ? lol
1. Ice Cream

**Title: Ice Cream**

**Pairing:** Mitchie/Mikayla Selena/Demi

**Genre:** Romance/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort

**Word Count:** 1,162

**Rating:** M - for mature themes (because yes, incase you hadn't realized, this story is about a romantic relationship between two people of the same sex!)

**A/N: **I just started writing this cos I was bored. And I had ice cream for desert :) Anyway, a little random, but i had this inspiration and I just had to write it out so I could go to bed. Ahh another late night. lol And I'll continue it. It's not done yet :)

**Mitchie's P.O.V.**

I don't know why I did it. How could I have been so stupid? I knew she'd never feel the same way about me. I knew that all along, and I still did it... I just wish I could take it all back, wish I could undo all the damage I've done. And yet, for that one moment before she pulled away, it was the happiest moment of my life. I wish I could have stopped everything right there though. Paused life and left it on pause forever.

_"Mmmm..." I mumbled slowly and she looked up with a sheepish grin, assuming it was the ice-cream I was practically drooling over. Yes, the ice-cream, off course... Because I would never drool over my best friend, and the way her warm tongue darts out and carves a path through the cold, white ice-cream tundra._

_"You want some?" she asked, taking another slow lick tauntingly. She doesn't know just how good she's making that look, or just how badly she's teasing me. As if it wasn't hard enough not to kiss her already. I pull my eyes away from her cherry red mouth and nod hungrily, letting my tongue slip out and lick my lips._

_"Huh. Pity I only bought one for myself" she shrugs casually, but she can't hide the grin that takes over her soft lips. I roll my eyes and jump onto the bed beside her, putting on my most adorable pout and batting my eyelashes. Obviously I don't have as much charm as I thought I did because she shakes her head and takes another lick, this time spiraling her tongue right around and around from the bottom to the very tip._

_"Mick, don't be so cruel, gimmie some!" I whine, crossing my arms over my chest. Her laugh rings out, the sweetest sound I've ever heard and she grins at me again, her lips turning a light purple from the cold._

_"Nope. This ice-cream is all mine" she shakes her head stubbornly quickly eating a large bit so there's hardly any left. I frown, trying to seem upset with her, though I'm not sure I can ever be. Well, something has to be done about this. Refusing to share ice-cream with your best friend is just unacceptable! So I shrug and lean forward to steal a lick. As I come back up, smiling broadly, she looks at me with a shocked expression. As if she didn't expect it..._

_"What? Best friends tax! I get a small percentage of anything you have. It's the sharing rule of al friendships" I ramble on and she just giggles. Well at least one of us thinks the fact that she leaves me tongue tied is funny. Before I know it she's lifting the ice-cream up again, out stretched towards me. 'She's offering me some' I think, smiling broadly. Stupid, stupid Mitchie!_

_As I stick out my tongue to eat some of the deliciously cool desert she moves it high then my mouth. My nose is very cold. Freezing in fact._

_"Mickey!" I squeal, going cross eyed as I look down at the dollop of creamy white on the end of my nose. She laughs, looking completely bemused. Oh, I'll give her bemused. I stick my finger into her cold treat, making sure to get a good amount of my finger before streaking it across her cheek._

_"Oh! It's all cold. And a little sticky..." she mutters and I giggle._

_"Do you have a napkin to wipe this off with?" I ask, deciding it's probably time to get it off before I get frost bite on my nose (no, I'm not melodramatic!). Her grin suddenly widens, and for a moment I'm a little scared at what that can mean._

_"Oh we don't need napkins" she tells me and begins to lean in towards me. For a moment my heart is fluttering so fast I think it's about to give out and just stop dead. Then I feel the damp warmth of her tongue as she licks the ice-cream from my nose and her soft breath hits my skin as she giggles, sending a shiver down my spine._

_It's around this point that my brain stops functioning properly. Stupid, stupid brain! All I can think is Mikayla, cute, lips, tongue, mmm.... And so before I know it my hands are cupping her soft, flushed cheeks and bringing her the few centimeter's closer so that our lips crash against each others. The butterflies in my stomach that always appear in my best friends presense suddenly become frenzied, churning round three times as fast as normal. My lips are on fire, burning at her sweet touch, and it takes me one amazing, beautiful, extraordinary moment before I realize she's not kissing me back._

_I quickly pull away, my cheeks redder than they've ever been my entire life. My thoughts now are something more like '!'._

_"I'm so sorry..." are the last words that escape my mouth before I quickly sprint out of the room._

That about brings us to where I am now. Sitting on this rooftop, my feet dangling over the edge, just staring down at the city below me. It looks so huge, stretching out forever around me, it's buildings reaching every horizon. And yet watching the people down below me they're all so small. Like little miniatures in a toy town. I want to reach down and pick up the people walking along the street, but I can't reach.

Every single night since that day, I dream of what happened. Over and over again. And it always ends the same. There's always that extra chapter that hasn't happened yet. She calls my house, I'm the only one home. I answer and she sounds so distant, so cold. She tells me 'Mitchie, I don't think we can be friends anymore'. That's it. The end. And I just brake down, because there's no point fighting it. And the last thing I hear before I wake up is the long, drawn out 'beeeeeeep' as the line goes dead, she's hung up on me for the last time.

I just keep waiting. I'm waiting for it to finally happen, because I know it will. But the waiting is painful. She hasn't called yet, and it's been almost two weeks. In fact it about an hour and thirteen minutes it will have been exactly two weeks since I did the stupidest thing in my entire life so far. And I've just been waiting, waiting, the whole time feeling like someone's tearing my heart out slowly with their bare hands. It's hard to breath lately.

Up hear, it's so peaceful. I can just get away. It's only the sounds of the wind and the dulled noises of the city below as if hearing them from behind thick glass. And... footsteps? Frowning I slowly pull myself up, putting a good distance between myself and the ledge before turning around to face whoever's there.

"Mikayla?".


	2. Awkward

_**A/N: **Okay, I hope this is better edited. If I make a mistake that REALLY bugs you, feel free to tell me and I'll fix it up as soon as possible. Especially mixing up of names, cos I hate that! I hate mistakes too, but I tend to make them a lot. :) Anyway, I hope your enjoying this story, cos I am. It is going to be Mikayla/Mitchie. Just keep reading. I don't want to rush anything and make it.. bad. You know?_

Sitting on your bed in silence with your best friend shouldn't be this awkward. It didn't used to be this awkward. Silence with her used to be calm and comfortable. Now it feels cold and lonely. She shifts on the bed and I can feel it as the old mattress moves beneath us and the covers crinkle. I know this is better than nothing, to be just friends, but it's still painful.I don't know where to start, how to just strike up a conversation like we used to. It used to be so easy, I didn't even have to think about, the worlds just poured out of my mouth and excited chatter would quickly flow between us.

"_Look, you're my best friend Mitchie, and I don't want to loose that. Do you… Do you think we can just be friends?" she asked, shier and more nervous than usual, fiddling with the end of her scarf. I tried to smile, it was hard though. Just Friends. Those words rung out through my head and stabbed through my heart like a sharp shard of broken glass._

"_Off course" I told her, because that's as it good as it was going to get. Her eyes quickly lifted, a smile spreading over her red lips, and I tried not to think about kissing them. Because friends don't do that._

"So… what've you been up to?" she asks softly, pulling me back to the present with her sweet, delicate voice. I look back up and force a smile, just restraining myself from reaching up to tuck that stray strand of hair back behind her hair.

I have a new set of rules now. After what had happened, I didn't want to stuff up again, because I need her more than anything. Rule number one is limited intimate touching at least for the first few weeks. I may have to change that to days though, because it's so hard.

"Not much, a lot of writing" I shrug casually and lean back on my hands "how about you?" I ask. I know what I want to hear. I want her to say 'I've spent the last two weeks thinking about you'. That's not what she's going to say though.

"Oh, you know, we were filming last week… And I went to the premiere of high School Musical Two, with Taylor, it was great.." and then she trails off again because she can see the smile had slipped straight off my face. We where supposed to go to that together. I spent that night sitting in my bedroom surrounded by a field of tissues, crying.

I can already tell this is going to be hard. Rule number two is don't talk about 'the thing' that happened two weeks ago, so I carefully avoid the subject.

"Sounds cool… Hey, Twilight's coming out soon, right? Man I can't wait" I grin eagerly. I just finished the book. That's another thing I've been doing for the past two weeks. A lot of reading, since I've hardly left the house apart from visiting the roof there hasn't been much to do.

"Oh yea" she pipes up "We should totally go! It looks good, doesn't it? God, Edward is so cute!" she practically swoons as she says his name and I can help the pang of jealousy that courses through me for a moment, even if he is only a fictional character. Then I quickly smile and try to remember how I used to act around her and more importantly how we used to talk about boys.

"Oh my god totally! He's absolutely gorgeous!". Stupid. Stupid. Mitchie. Did I just sound like a hyper active cheerleader? Mikayla just laughs, the sound like bells wringing through crisp morning air, and shakes her head at me.

"Yea, umm… I mean he's okay" I mutter, feeling the heat rising in my cheeks. I don't dare look up for fear of getting hypnotized by those gentle eyes of hers.

"Well who's your favourite Twilight character then?" she asks slowly. This is a more difficult question than it seems. My brain immediately screams 'Bella or Alice!' because they're both totally cute, and sometimes I kind of imagine Bella looking a bit like Micky… I don't want to make this anymore awkward though. So, I shrug nonchalantly as though I have to decide first, as if I haven't really thought about it at all.

"I dunno. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm all for Bella and Edward being together. Cutest couple ever. But, I kind of like Jacob. He's just so cute and all shy…" I trail off. Of course I chose to side the one who doesn't have a chance. Because it's obvious Bella will never think of Jacob that way. Sound familiar?

She nods thoughtfully as the conversation goes dead again, her soft hair swaying slightly. God I love her hair. I remember when she used to let me play with it all the time. We sit on her bed, me leaning back on the wall and her in my lap, listening to music as I set about braiding her soft, chocolate brown locks.

"Mitchie?". I look up, slightly surprised, but wait for her to continue as she seems about to say something more.

"I missed you" she mumbles, giving me a shy smile. I don't know what to do. Rule number two is don't talk about it! And worse, all I want to do is pull her into a tight, rib-braking hug. A total violation of rule one. My heart is hammering in my chest. Oh god, those eyes..

"I missed you too" I tell her with a little too much sincerity. This moment is too intense. And friends don't look at each other like that, with desperate want and need in their eyes, like I am looking at her right now.

It's all broken though by the sound of 'I Kissed A Girl' blaring from the bag beside my bed. She ducks down, small hands reaching to grab her phone and hair hanging down like a thick curtain that almost hides her blushing cheeks. Why, oh why does she have to have that bloody ringtone?

"Umm… I should take this. I'll be right back" she mutters, eyes glued to the caller ID as she stumbles out of the room. She shuts the door behind her but I can still hear the muffled sound of her voice. I could listen to her speak for hours. I have before. She sounds happy, excited.

After a couple of minutes she finally comes back in, grinning broadly as she sits back down beside me. I try not to look at her and instead keep my eyes trained on the paper in front of me as my pen scribbles across it quickly (I got a little bored/inspired while she was gone). My hand never could keep up with my thoughts.

"Who was that?". I was aiming for cool and casual, but it came out cold and suspicious, possibly with a slight edge of irritation. She's too smiley to notice though, which just annoys me even more.

"Nate!" she sighs while falling back so she's lying next to me, facing the ceiling, while I lie on my stomach and continue to write. After a moment she rolls onto her side and faces me, smiling softly.

"What are you writing?" she asks, peering over at the page now almost filled with my messy short hand. I flip the book shut, placing my hand over the cover firmly.

"Song lyrics". Please don't ask to read them! She gives me an odd look but her smile doesn't drop quite yet.

"Can I read them?" she bats her eye lids at me and for a moment it works, I'm ready to hand them over. Then my brain kicks back into gear, over-ruling my heart for once. Thank god!

"No…" I shake my head, drawing the book in a little closer towards me protectively. Now her smile quickly turns to a frown.

"But, Mitchie… You always let me hear yours songs!" her voice is slightly wavering like it's about to break and I hate that it hurts me so much to see her like that. Not that it's anything new, this is a friend thing. It's the only friend thing I have left and it's so hard to ignore. I want to hold her in my arms like I used to when she cried. It don't win over though.

"Well in case you hadn't noticed, things have changed recently" I tell her, sounding more angry then I meant to "we used to do a lot of things, but things are different now!". And then she just gets up and leaves.


	3. Trashy Tabloid Gossip

_**A/N: **Okay, I'm like in love with this story :) lol Like, I mean, I'm loving writing it. I hope your liking reading it. I think I was listening to slightly emo music while writing this. It'll get more Mikayla/Mitchie-ish soon. There's a little almost-ness in this one, but soon it gets much moreer... Anyway. Hope you like it. No-one fels like this is going to slowly do they? I mean, any comments or constructive critisism is welcomed. I wanna make it as good as it can be!_

I gaze up at the menu board, eyes wandering down over the options lazily. The people behind me are going to get pissed if I take much longer to decide but I don't really care, I'll take my sweet time if I want to.

"Mitchie, would you hurry up already?" Mikayla groans, nudging me in the ribs. Okay, I should hurry up and decide already. Ahh what variety there is at Mac Donald's, I don't know what to get.

"Medium Big Mac meal" I finally decide, after looking over the menu several more times. Mikayla nods, reaching into her wallet before stopping for a second, turning to me. I raise my eye brows, wondering why she's stopped all of a sudden.

"Do you want an ice cream?" she asks, pointing up towards the menu at the different sundae's and Mc Flurry's. Damn it. Rule number three, no more ice cream around Micky. It's dangerous. And it brings back memories that need to be forgotten. I bite my lip, so hard it starts to hurt, and quickly shake my head in reply.

"Okay doke, just that then" she turns back to the girl serving us and smiles sweetly, slipping out a twenty and sliding it across the smooth bench. The girl smiles back and I shoot her a death glare, no-one looks at My Mikayla like that except me.

I think I need a reality check, stat. My Mikayla? Oh, if only…

_Saying sorry was hard. Hard because I didn't want to talk about 'the thing', especially with her. We avoided that though, much to my relief, and the conversation was much quicker and less painful then I thought it would be._

_"I'm sorry". I stared at my shoes, the pattern on the floor, the intricate weave of the carpet. Anything but her._

_"It's okay, I get why you where angry… We all good again? I just want us to go back to how we where again"._

_"Yea, off course". I smiled shyly. She smiled back. Then we fell back into casual conversation and for the past week things have been okay. We've hung out. Spent hours lying on her bed listening to music. Talked at least once everyday on the phone. I've dropped her off for filming the past two days, just like we used to do, and picked her up again at the end._

_Last night she texted me, last minute as always, asking if I wanted to hang out the next day. If I could do flips, I would have done one right then. My immediate reply was: 'Yes! Just tell me when and where'._

"Come on" she mutters, picking up most of the stuff and starting to walk off. I take the only thing left, my drink, and quickly follow after her sipping it as I go. We walk out the door to be greeted by warm, yellow sunshine, she links her arm through mine and I can't contain the grin that spreads over my face.

"So, where to now?" my voice is full of new found enthusiasm as we reach her car and she yanks open the smooth, blue door.

"Well, you'll just have to wait and see" is all she would say in reply.

_Yesterday morning I got up late, only just managing to drag myself out of bed. Still clad in my dorky barney pyjamas, I trekked down stairs and took a seat at the table, waiting till I was a little more awake before I attempted to make myself breakfast. Last time I spilt milk and fruit loops all over the kitchen counter._

_A slow yawn escaped my mouth, my eyes watering slightly as I blinked back at the bright sun already high in the sky. Feeling bored, I looked round and picked up a copy of 'Pop Star' magazine. I don't know why my mum buys that crap, but she does._

_At first it looked a little blurry, and so I rubbed my eyes, still feeling a little slow and half awake, and then as I looked back down the front cover was completely in horrifying focus. 'Mikayla and Nate, dating?'. Well, that photo sure looked incriminating enough, the two of them standing there staring right into each other eyes with love sick smiles plastered on their faces._

_I quickly flicked through to page fourteen, reading faster then I think I ever have before as I scanned down the article:_

_Mikayla and Nate where spotted today leaving Mikayla's set for lunch together. The adorable young couple spent most of the time staring into each others eyes. Is this a new romance in it's beginnings?_

_Frowning, I tossed the magazine onto the floor before storming back up to my room and pulling out my song book. Well, heart ache is good for at least one thing. Angsty love songs._

Mikayla giggles loudly and I grin at my wit. I love it when I make her laugh, I try and do it as often as possible just to hear that delightful sound which makes my heart flutter. We're sitting in this little park, I've never been here before but god it's beautiful. Almost as beautiful as her I can't help but note. God I'm corny sometimes.

"Come on" she grins eagerly, taking me by the hand and leading me off down a small pebbled path. Everything is so green and fresh here, so full of life. It must be an omen, new beginnings. Suddenly she stops and I look around, my smile soon becoming as wide as hers if not wider.

It's this little spot just out of sight, hidden by thick green leaves and a wall of wooden trunks, carpeted with apple green grass and edged with soft, white daisies. I swear this has been ripped straight out of a picture book.

"Do you like it?" she asks, voice excited and expectant. I eagerly nod, spinning around a couple of times trying to take it all in "Yea, I just discovered it like a couple of weeks ago. A nice place to get away from the paparazzi" she mutters, taking a seat on the small bench off to one side. I sit down next to her, gazing at my feet. Paparazzi. The same paparazzi that photographed her and Nate together. My head Is now constantly occupied by the question 'Are they together?'. I'm tempted to ask, but I don't think I want to know.

She taps her foot against mine childishly and I tap hers back, the question quickly disappearing as I'm absorbed by thoughts of her again. Our knees are knocking and I don't think she realizes just how close to each other we're sitting right now. I want to move away, but I want to move closer. Her shoe encased foot rubs slightly across mine and I swallow as quietly as I can.

My hand is clenching the cold bench tightly as I try to remember how we used to muck around like this before. It means nothing. It's a friend thing. What, playing footsies? That is totally not a friend thing. My parents do that sometimes. It's embarrassing.

She takes my hand in hers, lightly tracing her fingers over the lines across my palm and leaving a tingling trail behind as she goes. A shiver rolls down my spine and she looks up, eyes soft and sincere as she pulls her hand away. I wish she hadn't, I wish I'd never shivered and we could have stayed like that forever.

Then she slips her jacket off, draping it round my shoulders, and my smile returns just as brightly as hers. I need to stop looking at her though. God Mitchie, Just Friends, can't you get that through your head? Well obviously I can't because I'm still staring straight into those gorgeous brown eyes of hers.

"Mick?" the word slips out of my mouth though I don't really want it to and the spell is quickly broken, eyes darting away from each other and bodies shuffling slightly to create a greater distance between us though I'd prefer a smaller one.

"Yea?" she replies, carrying that same interested but not too interested tone that I can never decipher. I hate that tone. Back in the days when I thought I might actually have a chance I spent many long hours trying to figure it out every time she'd answer with it. What did it mean? Did it mean anything at all?

"Are you and Nate…?" I don't finish it, I can't. My throat feels dry, sore and constricting and the words can't squeeze out through the tight space. She quickly looks up, a little surprise but with a look just as unreadable as the tone she used before.

"No. I'd tell you if we where" she says, but she's answered to quickly "I mean, there could be something…" she trails off. Normally she would have continued, told me everything, all the intimate details. I think she doesn't want to make it awkward or make me feel uncomfortable. As good as things have been the past week, there's still this unsaid thing hanging in the air between us. We both know it, but neither are willing to say something about it.

"There could be something..?" I prompt her. She wants it to be like it was before again, and I want anything she wants, even if that doesn't happen to be me. The mood lightens a little again and I brace myself for the ache that's about to fill my heart.

"Come on. Tell me everything!" I insist and she smiles broadly before finally bursting and telling me all the things I know she's been desperate to say since we reconciled. And there it is, like a knife through the chest, but I keep smiling. Because that's what best friends do.


	4. Subsitute Sugar

_**A/N: **I wrote this last night, I stayed up till like som time in the early morning, but I was just really getting into it. And I've made sure to edit it, so I hope there are no mistakes that I missed. Anyway, I hope you liking it. Keep reading, I think it's starting to get good!_

_I'm a little, like 'Grr nate' right now though. Which is stupid, cos I'm the one writing him like this. But oh well lol_

**tonton16****:** _Yea, I think part of why I love writing this story is I've kind of been there myself. I hope your enjoying it. :)_

_These chapters seem to all be ending on a sad note. Didn't mean to do that, sorry. Kind of the vibe of the story though. But yea, it'll get better. Happier. I pinky swear it!!_

Substitute Sugar Is Never Good Enough

I stir my coffee round and round till the drizzle of white cream starts to fade into the chestnut brown. She still hasn't noticed how down I am today, too entranced by the boy beside her. I can't bare to look up, I can see them out of the corner of my eyes anyway. Talking and giggling and touching. It makes me feel sick. I don't think I'm ever going to drink this, I've been stirring it for a good ten minutes now, I'm pretty sure it's gone cold.

"Mitchie?" Mikayla turns to me, taking her eyes off of Nate for the first time in half an hour. I look up, quickly plastering on a fake smile that after much practise over the past two weeks I'm slowly mastering. Nate's eyes are still all over her and I'm just stopping myself from fuming. They're moving down from her glittering eyes and sweet smile to the nape of her neck and further… God I want to slap that boy right now.

"Yea, what's up?" I ask, lifting the coffee to my mouth and taking a slow sip, trying to act is if nothing is wrong. Oh, I was right, it has gone cold. She smiles softly and I grin back. Ha! Take that Nate, she saves that smile all for me. That's my favourite smile. I mean, not that I memorize her different smiles or anything… But just say (hypothetically) that I did, that would be my favourite. It's this gentle smile, full of warmth and love and kindness and sincerity.

"I'll be back in just a sec, I'm just gunna walk Nate out to his car" she tells me, that look in her eyes saying she knows I haven't been paying any attention to the conversation. I just nod indifferently and go back to my coffee as if I'm really enjoying it.

They leave hand in hand, swinging their arms as they walk as though in some feel good movie. As they step out onto the street the car is already waiting for him, and she leans up to kiss him. At this point I have to look away. My stomach is churning, sick with envy at just the thought of what they're doing right now. My mind flashes back to the day I kissed her, overloading on the memory. Her soft skin, red lips, silky hair. How she tasted strongly of vanilla. The feelings that overtook my body, just being that close to her. And then heart ache when realization hit.

I look up at the loud creak of the door swinging shut again, glad to be pulled from my thoughts. I observe the way she walks towards me, the way her hair sways, the way her clothes move around her petite form. A she reaches me I finally let my eyes meet hers, my fake smile failing miserably in the wake of what has just been occupying my mind.

"Your coffee's cold…" she comments, just an innocent observation, and her eyes meet mine. My nod seems redundant, but I do it anyway before rising to my feet. For a moment it's awkward before me manage to fall into the fake friendship we've formed over the past two weeks. It's a crappy substitute, like 'splenda' instead of sugar, but maybe in time we'll be able to get back to what we used to have. I miss real sugar.

"Come on, let's buy a tub of chocolate ice cream and watch a chick flick. Just the two of us. What do you say?" she asks, smiling sweetly. Oh gosh, I love that smile too. It's her giddy, excited, childish kind of smile. Hmm… On the one hand, ice cream + Mikayla… last time that didn't go well. On the other hand, a totally sugar filled pig out and some sappy romantic movies with my best friend is exactly what I need right now. Because honestly, I feel like crap,

"Sounds good" I grin back, and she takes my hand as we exit the small café.

_"…said__ I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen, and I was like, oh my god. I mean, isn't that just the sweetest thing? I think that is like the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me…". Oh god, oldest trick in the book. Besides, I could say something sweeter. I want to. I would tell her she was beautiful every single day if I could. Because she is. She's so very, very beautiful. Inside and out. God, I wish I'd never introduced Mikayla to the guys of Connect 3._

_"…totally romantic. You know, he's a really good kisser" she sighed. My god, I wanted to be sick. She stopped talking and we fell silent, me not knowing what to say. I was about to try and strike up a conversation again when she laid back into me, and my arms instinctively wrapped around her waist. We seemed to fit together perfectly. Her eyes fluttered closed and she covered my hands with hers where they sat on her stomach, holding them there. She really seems to have no idea what she does to me sometimes. Can she not hear my heart pounding loudly in my chest, like someone bashing a consistent beat on as set of drums?_

_Her breathing evened out and for a moment I thought maybe she'd fallen asleep when suddenly she murmured "I love you Mitch". I smiled, leaning forward to press my lips lightly against the soft, dark brown hair on the top of her head._

_"I love you too Micky" more than you'll ever love me._

I dig my spoon deeper into the ice cream, scooping a very large heap onto my spoon as I try to dispel the thoughts of the other day from my head. I really do need to stop living in the past. I do it too much lately. I feel the weight on the couch shift as Mikayla moves closer too me. Oh no.

"I love this bit" she sniffs, snuggling into me and sliding her hand across my stomach till her arm is wrapped around my middle. I look up and smile knowingly. Oh, this part, I should have known. I haven't been paying attention to the movie though. I've mainly been watching her face as the TV shed it's dim light on her stunning features in the dark room. I take a deep breath and try and move a little bit away but she holds onto me tighter and I notice a tear slide down her cheek. She chose to watch 'The Notebook'.

By now she's cornered me at the very end of the sofa and I have no where left to go. If I do something stupid right now, it's all her fault. But there's nothing left to do, so I reach up a hand and run it gently through her hair, letting my fingers tangle in her elegant dark chocolate curls. I'm trying not to imagine the fact that she probably tastes like a mix of milk and dark chocolate right now, sweet with a hint of bitter.

Over the soft, moving music and the voices of the actors I hear a sound escape her mouth that sounds a lot like a moan as my finger tips massage her scalp. My cheeks flare bright red. No, not a moan, I'm sure it wasn't a moan. I continue to do it anyway though, ignoring the warm fluttering inside my stomach.

"Mmm…" she mumbles, moving round slightly against me to get completely comfortable. And then she decides to choose the worst moment possible to have one of our most awkward conversations. Ever.

"Mitchie?" she asks, looking up at me in the flickering light of the TV screen " Where you okay today? With me… and Nate…". I have to think over how best to answer this. Was I okay? Well, not really. But is this one of those conversations where I'm supposed to lie so everything stays okay between us? Or does she want us to actually, directly talk about what's going on between us at the moment? Maybe it's time to face the truth.

"No, I wasn't okay" I tell her truthfully, trying to keep my eyes on the TV and my expression blank as I know she's watching me. I'm staring straight at the screen but taking nothing in. A heavy sigh escapes her lips, the warm breath of air hitting the side of my neck and blowing a few stray strands of my messy hair about for a moment.

"I'm sorry. What should I do?" she asks softly and I quickly turn to her, a little confused. What does she mean by that? I hope it has nothing to do with not being friends anymore, because I couldn't stand that. Sometimes even cheap substitute sugar is better than nothing sweet at all.

"I mean… do you want me to brake up with Nate? Will that make it easier for you? I just want us to be okay again Mitch" she tells me, her grip around my waist tightening as the words escape her mouth with a slight edge of desperation. I want to say yes, brake up with him, be with me. But the truth is, she's my best friend, and I could never ask her to do that. Her happiness is the most important thing to me. And what would her being single change? She'd still never love me.

"No. Just… there's nothing you can do Mikayla. I… I love you. That's something that neither you nor me nor anyone else can change. But our friendship is still the most important thing to me. It'll get better, I promise you" I say, my words quiet yet strong and unwavering. And I can't believe I actually said it. I told her I loved her, and for a moment I thought I saw a smile flicker across her lips, but I was probably just mistaken.

"Do you really love me?" she asks, eyes falling to the floor "I mean, how do you know? Maybe it's just… nothing at all. Maybe you don't really have those feelings for me. Maybe…" but I interrupt her there, because I know. Oh god I know. I am definitely, un-arguably in love with this girl. It's not like I just woke up four weeks ago and thought, hey, maybe I'm in love with Mikayla. God, I can't even remember how long I've been trying to hide this secret. One year? Two? Maybe ever since we first met at age seven. And I've tried to deny it. I've tried to fight it. I've tried to pretend it isn't true. But it is. I love her.

"No, Micky. I love you. Of that, I'm certain. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone before…" I whisper, so quietly I think she might not have heard me until she gives me the sweetest smile, leans up and presses her lips against in my cheek in a lingering kiss. And as soon as her lips are gone, there is a burning sensation left behind, like a tattoo that will forever mark my skin.


	5. Aftermath Of A Movie

_**A/N: **I know this chapter is a little short, but the next one will be longer. This one of those chapters not as filled with Demena goodness but still completley nescessary. :D Anyway, hope your still liking it. Soon, soon... there will be more, total, Demena-ness! _

I sigh and collapse into the backseat of my mother's car. I just spent the last two hour up the back of a dark movie theatre with my best friend. Normally, that would be a totally good thing. Not tonight. Tonight it was living hell. She even looks good in the dark...

"Did you have a good time sweety?" my mother asks, smiling back at me in the rearview mirror. I look up, nodding giving her a warm smile back before heaving myself upright in my seat and pulling the strong black strap of the seat belt across my chest. The car engine bursts into life with a hearty grumble as mum turns the key and puts the car into gear. The radio comes to life, blinking green lights flash on before soft music starts to fill the car.

_How can I decide what's right?  
When you're clouding up my mind  
Can't win your losing fight  
All the time_

_Not gonna ever own what's mine  
When you're always taking sides  
You wont take away my pride  
No not this time  
Not this time_

_How did we get here?  
I use to know you so well  
How did we get here?  
Well, I think I know_

_The truth is hiding in your eyes  
And it's hanging on your tongue  
Just boiling in my blood,  
But you think that I can't see_

I grin broadly as I recognize the lyrics and the music. Paramore - Decode. What a co-inky dink, seeing as we just saw Twilight. I let the song fill my head as we drive off down the busy streets, light slowly fading from the early evening sky. It wont be dark for a while yet though. The movie ticket is still clutched firmly in my hand, and I run my finger gingerly over the name of the movie again and again.

I can still smell the pop corn. I can still feel her warm body right beside me. I can still taste the coke we shared, cool liquid running over my tingling tongue. I just wish this was all easier. Why can't I get over her so things can be like they where again? Why is she so flipping irresistible? I want all these answers but the world, the universe, is refusing to give them to me. Why does life have to be so difficult?

I stare out at the streets as they pass us by, endless grey buildings stretching to the faint blue sky. Lights are starting to turn on, lighting up the windows like the control panel of a space ship. One here and one there, faded yellow like stained paper through the curtains and electric blue on signs trying to catch my attention. We pass a large sign with my best friends face on it, smiling cheerily at me. Her eyes bore into mine, those soft pools of milk chocolate twinkling slightly. My heart constricts painfully in my chest, she's everywhere.

_'We can, we can, break out of here, jump on over there, where the air is clearer…_' my phone vibrates in my pocket, buzzing almost as loudly as the music blasting from it's small speaker. I push it open and grin broadly as I read the caller ID. Well well, long time no speak.

"Yellow?" I answer cheerily, sitting up straight again as I wait for the sound of his voice. One of the few people apart from Mikayla who can always put a smile on my face. My mum glances back at me in the rear-view mirror, obviously picking up on my sudden good mood. And then I hear it, the voice that makes girls all over the world simultaneously swoon.

"Hey Mitchie! What's crackin'?" Shane asks and I grin like a giddy child after a few too many green lollies and red cordials. It's so good to hear from him again, seeing as I've hardly seen him since the month after camp. Connect 3 went on a big tour, Peggy as their opening act, and then they where recording their new album… And then with everything that has been going on with me lately, I guess I just forgot that he was only a phone call away now.

"Not much… How about you rock star? I hear your new albums coming out soon" I reply eagerly. Maybe a little too eagerly. I really have missed him. He was the one person I could talk to about Mikayla. And though I never really liked him like that, there was a second where I thought maybe he was the only person I could ever love even half as much as her.

"Well everything's pretty quite at the moment actually. But, uhh… I was wondering if you wanted to come visit me in L.A. for like a week or two maybe? It seems like forever since I last saw you" and there it is. He really has changed, and it was I who changed him. It sounds dangerous, two weeks alone in L.A. with a gorgeous rock star. But then, maybe that's exactly what I need to try and get over Mikayla? I take a moment, and a deep soothing breath to try and make sure I'm deciding this with a clear head. But seriously, my head has been foggy ever since I fell for my best friend.

"Sounds awesome. I'll just check with my mum" I tell him gladly, looking to my mum sitting in the drivers seat and giving her a sugar sweet smile, batting my thick eye lashes at her. She rolls her eyes at me but smiles back, knowing I want something by the look I'm giving her.

"What are you checking with me?" she asks, tone suspicious as she looks back to the road, eyes narrowed. The car pulls to a stop at the red light in a long line of cars waiting impatiently and I lean forward in my seat.

"Well… do you think I could go to L.A. for two weeks to visit Shane?" I ask, praying she will say yes. She doesn't look at me, but instead pauses for a moment as if thinking it over, staring out into the sea of traffic. Then she looks back at me with a warm smile. I can already feel a fluttering buzz in my stomach, butterflies coming to like in excitement.

"Okay, on one condition.." she tells me seriously, and the butterflies stop mid flight. One condition? Oh god what could this be??


	6. Old Friends and New Possibilities

_**A/N: **I took a while to post so I thought you deserved an extra long chapter this time :D Plus I was uber hyper cos ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY! lol Okay, I'm calm, sorry. So, I hope your enjoying my story so far and will continue to read. And I will continue to write and try and update as soon as possible. **For all the people have reviewed, I really do appreciate it. Your brighten my day and give me the enthusiasm to keep writing.**_

Airports are so busy. I can hear a thousand different noise around me right now: planes taking off, people stressing over missing their flights and mournfully saying goodbye. I'm full of excitement, energy just waiting to burst out. I have my suit case at my feet, my carry on bag over my shoulder and I'm ready to go. To get away. There's only one problem. I'm taking the thing I'm trying to escape with me.

"Come on Mitchie, this way" Mikayla tells me, pulling at my sleeve. I smile and nod, taking the handle of my bag in a firm grip and heaving it along behind me as I follow after her. She's so bouncy this morning, probably because she's spending a whole two weeks with no parents and Nate will be there seeing as Connect 3 is playing in four days. He's still visiting his mother for the moment, I have four Nate free days before the rest of this little vacation becomes a living hell. Have I already mentioned that I really wish I'd told her to brake up with him?

"Quick Mitch, come on we'll miss our flight" she whines like a five year old child and her pout is just the most adorable thing. I roll my eyes at her dramatically and speed up my pace a little. All she has to do is ask and I'll do as she says. Man I'm whipped.

I'm dreading this flight. Four hours stuck in a plane a thousand feet above the world with her sitting right beside me.

_"Well… do you think I could go to L.A. for two weeks to visit Shane?" I asked, praying she would say yes. She didn't look at me, but instead paused for a moment as if thinking it over, staring out into the sea of traffic. Then she looked back at me with a warm smile. I could already feel a fluttering buzz in my stomach, butterflies coming to life in excitement._

_"Okay, on one condition.." she tells me seriously, and the butterflies stop mid flight. One condition? Oh god what could this be?? "You can go, if Mikayla will go with you" my smile fell and she gave me a confused look, not understanding why this upset me._

_"Why?" I whined. The whole point of going was to hopefully get over my best friend, to try and finally move on, and that would be hard with her there. My mum gave me a stern look before turning her attention back to the road as the light turned green again._

_"I'll just feel better if there's another girl there with you, someone I can trust. I know Mickey and I know she'll keep an eye on you for me" she told me as we took off again in the mass of cars, speeding down the black highway. I bit my lip, chewing on it nervously._

_"Okay, I'll ask her!" I gave in, slumping a little in my seat the way I used to when being forced to do something I really didn't want to, like visit Aunt Marge "Is that okay Shane? If Mikayla comes along?" I asked, remembering I was still on the phone to the popstar. He laughed, the sound echoing through my phone speaker._

_"Off course. I'm sure Nate will love to spend some time with her". My heart sunk. 'Oh great, this is gunna be fun' I though sarcastically._

"Mitchie!" I hear a familiar voice bellow out my name and look up excitedly. That's a voice I haven't heard in quite some time. Suddenly I'm being tackled to the ground by a tall, dark haired adolescent.

"Jason, what the hell are you doing?" Shane soon comes running up behind him, looking down upon the two of us with a bemused expression "it's good to see you again Mitchie" he laughs, extending a hand to help me up but Mikayla is already by my side, pulling me to my feet. Jason grins gleefully, and holds open his arms for a hug which I gladly except.

"Mitchie. I've missed you so much" he tells me, squeezing so tightly I can hardly breath. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Mikayla and Shane smiling politely and shaking hands in greeting, though neither seeming particularly overjoyed to see each other. They never really liked each other, I don't know why.

The summer after Camp Rock I'd introduced them, hoping they'd get along as well with each other as I did with both of them. They didn't. Mikayla said she didn't trust him. I asked her why and the only thing she'd say in reply was 'I don't like the way he looks at you'. She can be a little over-protective of me sometimes. I like it though, it gives me this warm buzzing feeling in the pit of my stomach every time she acts like that.

Shane was the one I confided in about Mikayla. He always said I could do so much better than her, that if she couldn't even realize it by now, she obviously didn't deserve me. I laughed and told him it wasn't that simple, maybe I was wrong and he was right, but I was and still am in love with her. It doesn't really matter if she deserves me or not, my heart is hers. But hopefully this little trip will change all that. Maybe I'll fall head over heals for Shane and me and Mickey can go back to being best friends again like we used to be.

"Here, let me get that for you" Shane tells me, his mouth stretching into a charming smile as he takes my bags and begins to walk towards the exit. Jason follows his lead, taking Mikayla's bags as we start after Shane who's walking rather fast. I jog to catch up as Mikayla falls back a little, walking with Jason instead as the two strike up a casual conversation.

"So, have you missed me?" I ask, grinning hopefully at him as we walk towards a large set of sliding doors. It's suddenly come to my realization the possible flaw in my plans. What if he's over me by now? What if he's moved on and has some new girlfriend? After a moment he glances sideways at me, giving me the most intense look as he replies.

"Every day" he mutters, before blushing slightly and quickly smiling to try and lighten the mood "I've written a few new songs since we last saw each other, I'd love for you to hear them! Just like old times.." he laughs and I give him my classic toothy grin. I don't think there is any flaw in plan.

_As soon as I got home I rang Mikayla to ask if she could come. Maybe if Nate was there, that'd at least give me some alone time with Shane. The one and only upside to him being there.__ I'd hardly finished asking her before she was squealing 'Yes!!' in shrill excitement and running downstairs to ask her parents. She then spent the next hour on the phone to me, going on and on about how great it was going to be._

_"We can go to bed when ever we want!" she told me, sounding like an over excited twelve year old "we can stay up all night if we want!" she was obviously joking so I just rolled my eyes though she couldn't see it and laughed. She__'s such a dork sometimes, but she's my dork._

_"We have to go shopping! And, maybe one night we can go out dancing with Nate…" she obviously went into fantasy mode then because she trailed off and never continued. Oh that'd be fun, sitting at the table watching them dance together and wishing my coke was something __much__ stronger. I felt sick just thinking about it. No, this was supposed to be my 'getting-over-Mikayla' holiday._

_"Yea, and Shane can come too!" I quickly added, smiling because I knew that would annoy her "it'll be like, a double date" I continued. She sighed heavily, obviously not liking the sound of that._

_"Date? You and Shane aren't dating though. And I mean… would you? Date him, I mean. Do you even like him? Cos I thought…" at that she stopped, not wanting to actually say what she was obviously implying. Because I like her? Well that isn't going to stop me. In fact, if anything, it's extra motivation. I think it over for a minute before slowly replying._

_"I think I would… if he would. I dunno Mickey, we just… click. You know? He knows me, he gets me. That summer at Camp Rock, I was 'the voice', the one he was searching for. I've never been that for anyone before. He made me feel special, wanted…" I could practically hear the scepticism in her breathing as I told her this,_

_"Your special to me!" she said and I sighed heavily. She just didn't get it, did she? He wanted me in the way I only wished she would. There was as awkward pause in the conversation, as there always was around the topic of dating and liking people now. We both knew what we where thinking about, the fact that I was in love with her. I ran my hand through the silky soft, coffee brown fur of my teddy bear and hugged him to my chest._

_"It's not the same Mickey…'"._

"And this is where you will be staying…" Shane told us proudly, standing in front of the large house with his arms out like a presenter on a game show, showing off the prizes to be won. I grinned and jumped out of the car, my thongs hitting the pavement with a smack.

I'd opted for the three C's today (cool, comfy and casual) seeing as I was going on a long flight. Now I felt a little inadequate. Mikayla was wearing some nice, tight black jeans and a cute Tee that fit her perfectly, with her gorgeous hair flowing down around her shoulders. Jason and Shane where both wearing nice shirts, shiny shoes and had obviously spent hours on their hair to give it that perfect, slightly messy look. I was in a pair of shorts, a slightly wrinkled, just a little too big T-shirt and flip flops. Not to mention my hair which was tied back in a rough pony tail as I hadn't had much time to spend grooming it this morning.

"Welcome to our humble abode" Shane nudged me in the ribs, still wearing that gorgeous smile of his that would make any other girl weak at the knees. Jason pulled our bags from the boot and they both began carrying them inside while me and Mikayla followed shyly. Their house was so big and white and… amazing. It had the perfect feel, like the sun would always be shining down on their neat flower beds full of vibrant and varying varieties.

"Your room is up here… You don't mind sharing do you? It's just we only have one guest room. But I mean, you guys are best friends, so we figured… But if you want, I mean I could share with Jason and…" at this point I cut him off, smiling at how sweet and considerate he was being. By this point we'd reached the door way, the white painted door slightly a jar showing me just a sliver of the room I'd be sleeping in for the next two weeks.

"It's fine Shane! Right?" I quickly glance at Mikayla. I hope she's be okay with this, but maybe I should have checked before just agreeing. How many times had we shared a bed over the years? Over a thousand. I wonder if she's thinking the same thing and wondering how many times I was lying their in her arms trying not to think about kissing her. Well, the answer is A Lot. I look down at my feet, kicking my foot back and forth across the deep chestnut floor boards.

"Yea, no that's fine!" she answers quickly, smiling to reassure me "come on, let's get settled in" she suggests, taking me by the arm and using her other hand to gently push the door the rest of the way open "we'll be down stairs in a couple of minutes, okay?" she tells more than asks the two boys waiting behind us. Shane nods anyway and starts heading back down the stairs with Jason in tow.

When they're gone I turn back to the room and walk through the door way onto the soft cream carpet, looking round and just trying to take it all in. The main colour in this rooms seems to be white. The theme of the whole house seems to be pale, pastels. I never would have thought Shane would live somewhere like this, somewhere so nice and quaint. I guess Jason probably picked it though. We ditch our bags by the foot of the large double bed in the centre of the room and dive onto it, revelling in it's softness and cushiony support.

"Looking forward to the next two weeks?" Mikayla asks, looking sideways at me as we lie side by side on the bed, hair slightly entangled as it's fanned out around us in a mass of dark brown. I bite my lip, thinking over it for a moment. I have to admit, so far it look to be quite promising. A let a smile slip onto my lips as I nod slowly.

"Yea, I think I am" I tell her, building excitement coming through in my voice and I turn onto my side to look at her. She turns too so we're facing each other, centimetres apart. My brain freezes up. All I can think is 'Mikayla, beautiful, lips, kissable…'. I shouldn't be looking at her lips, her soft red lips forming the sweetest smile.

I can't see anything but her face, but I feel her hand touching mine, intertwining our fingers and squeezing my hand. I snap back to reality and quickly look down. My breathing is uneven, my cheeks are flushed, my heart is racing. Is she really so naïve that she has no idea what she's doing to me?


	7. Footsies And Feelings

_**A/N: **I know I haven't updated in a while. It feels like a while anyway. I just got a little stuck on this chapter. I mean, I know where this story's going, I know what's going to happen in other chapters, I just had trouble writing this. And then I was walking home and I started writing it in my head and I knew exactly how the rest of this chapter was going to play out. Funny how that happens. Okay, I've been rambling, sorry. On with the story!..._

_P.S. Not Long Till Christmas Now!! :) An x-mas oneshot maybe as a present for all the wonderful people who make an effort to review? I mean, only if you want one... _

"Are you ready for the grand tour?" Shane asks with an excited grin, pulling at his shirt as if he's wearing a fancy suit "this way". I laugh and follow after him as he leads us through the rooms. We start with the bottom floor, lounge room, music room (where they have a piano, a key board, a set of drums and three different guitars), the kitchen, one of the two bathrooms and a small veranda out the back. Then there was the top floor, the guest room (temporarily me and Mikayla's room), the second bathroom, Jason's room, a small study and lastly…

"And this is my bedroom" Shane announces, eyes on me as he speaks, wiggling his eye brows suggestively. Mikayla scoffs, rolling her eyes and I ignore her, giggling flirtatiously as I peer inside. It's dark and it takes my eyes a moment to re-adjust but once they do I can see quite clearly. His deep blue curtains are closed, letting in only a faint glow of sunlight. He has a lot of music stuff, song books lying everywhere just like my room. I spot a stack of old comics in the corner which puts a smirk on my face, a large stereo system and stacks of CD's. In fact it reminds me a lot of my room.

"So… what do you guys wanna do today?" Shane turns to us and I snap out of my thoughts, pulling my eyes away from observing his book collection and looking straight to his soft eyes. I can see Mikayla shrug out of the corner of my eye and Jason isn't really concentrating, he's staring out the hall window at a small bird hopping merrily along the window sill. Shane looks at me, eye brows raised and I try and think.

"…Shopping?" I ask with a bright smile, I could use a new pair of shoes and I've never been shopping in L.A. before. Mikayla and Shane simultaneously groan and I can't help but laugh at how similar they can be sometimes. Shane shakes his head, heartily disagreeing and then goes back into thought mode.

"There's this umm… nice little café. It's just a couple of streets away. I could show you, for future reference while you're here, and we could have something to eat…" he trails off, looking unsure of his suggestion. I have to say though, plane food is crap and I'm feeling pretty hungry about now. I turn to Mikayla with a questioning look. After a look of conformation from her I turn back to Shane with an eager grin.

"Sounds good, let's go".

_"I'm glad we're here. I'm glad we came"__ I whispered and forced myself to look up at the ceiling, anywhere but at her "I feel like… I don't know. I feel like it's going to be good. I feel excited, liberated, nervous…" I muttered, and then I just let the words spill out, because this was my best friend and I wanted to be able to talk to her again "What if Shane doesn't like me anymore?"._

_"You really like him, don't you?" Mikayla asked, sounding annoyed. I sighed and started counting the black spots on the lamp shade to my right. There where a lot of them, I wondered if they made shadows on the walls when the light was on. I counted up to twenty three by the time she talked again._

_"I think he still likes you. The way he looks at you, get's nervous around you.. He still likes you Mitch" she tells me softy, squeezing my hand. I turn back and offer her s small smile for her effort. If it was anyone else she would have said much more, would have encouraged me to go out with him, offered to help out. At least she was trying though._

_"Thanks.." I replied, still not completely confident though. I was in dire need off a pep talk and she could tell._

_"Mitchie" she whispered and I kept staring at the patterns on the doona cover "look at me!" she commanded, lifting up my chin and leaving her hand there, holding my face gently as she looked me in the eyes "Your gorgeous! And even more than that, your funny and smart and incredibly sweet. You have the most beautiful personality to match the beauty you have on the outside. Anyone would be lucky to have you!" she told me and I just knew I was turning a violent shade of red._

_"Again, thanks…" I mumbled, wishing I could stop looking at her gorgeous eyes. She smiled brightly and pressed her lips against my cheek. It was brief, and afterwards she quickly sat up and said we should head down stairs. It burned though. And it sent my mind into a frenzy._

The street outside the tinted windows are rolling by so fast I hardly have time to take it in. We've only been driving five or so minutes down the busy, midafternoon L.A. streets. Mikayla and me are sitting at opposite sides of the back seat, as far apart as possible. I'm in one of my very rare 'angry at Mickey' moods. I know it's not her fault, she's just trying to go back to the way we where before and act how we used to. It drives me insane though. It feels like she's teasing me, flirting and then pulling away and it leaves my emotions all a wreck, tangled up in a confused muddle.

She's staring out her own window quietly and the two boys are sitting up the front, Jason driving and Shane fiddling round the radio boredly. He's looks nervous and being so quiet. I want to know what on earth's going on inside his head.

_"__One song, about a girl. Can't breath when I'm around her. I wait here everyday. In case she'll scratch the surface. She'll never notice. I'm not in love, this is not my heart. I not gunna waste these words about…" _

A low crackle and then he changes the station, scrolling along till he finds another. At first it's fuzzy, only just sounding like music, then he finds the frequency and it comes through loud and clear. I re-adjust to the different tempo, listening intently to the lyrics.

_"__Did you think that I would cry on the phone? Do you know what it feels like being alone? I'll find someone new. Swing swing from the tangles of, my heart is crashed by a former love. Can you help me find a way to carry on again. Dreams cast into the sky, I'm.." _

With a groan he leans forward again and changes the station. Crackle, fuzzy, clear. A new song floods my ears. I glance up at the review mirror, moving round slightly till I can see his eyes reflected in it. They stare right back at me and I blush before looking back out the window again.

"_Your just the girl all the boys wanna dance with and I'm just the boy who's had to many chances. I'm sleeping on your folks porch again dreaming. She said, she said, she said "Why don't you just drop dead?"." _

"Shane, would you stop changing the bloody station!" Mikayla suddenly bursts out, glaring at the back of his seat. Shane freezes, his hand just a centimetre away from the radio again, and quickly pulls back guiltily. I look back at Mikayla and she's staring at her feet, feeling bad for going off at him. The song continues, filling the car, and I stare back out the window. We're surrounded by shops now, cute, quaint little shops and small cafes.

_"__I don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it. So say, what are you waiting for? Kiss her, kiss her. I set my clocks early cos I know I'm always late_"

"We're here!" Jason pipes up happily, putting the car into park. The song comes to a stop as the car does, pulling up along side the footpath. We all hurry to get out, ripping off our seat belts and pushing open the doors with force. I look up at the sign painted on the café's window 'Tiger Lily Café' in striped orange and black letters. Shane walks in and heads straight towards a table near the window without a moments hesitation so I quickly follow and take the seat beside him. I don't want to sit next to Mikayla today, I want to be distracted by this gorgeous pop star and his silly charm.

"Do you come here a lot?" I ask Shane, as he seems so at home here. I can imagine him coming and sitting in this same spot every day. I always find comfort in routine and familiarity. Don't get me wrong, sometimes you have to take risks and try something new, life would be boring if you didn't! I just like familiarity, it's like a comfort blanket, it makes me feel safe. That's what Mikayla's usually like for me. Or she used to be…

"Yea, I guess I do" he shrugs casually and gives me a shy smile as he picks up one of the menu's and opens it up on the table between us "we can share, there are only three menu's ". I smile extra bright and shuffle in a little closer to him. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Mikayla scowling as she takes a seat across from me, but this just makes me feel happier. Sort of. I want to make her jealous. I know that I can't, I never will, but I so badly want to. I want her to look at me and Shane and realize she wants me. That will never happen though. At the same time, I hate it when she's upset. I love to see her smile.

Me and Shane both lean in a little closer, alternating between looking at the menu and shooting each other flirting smiles. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain as another shoe kicks my shin. I look up and around. Well I doubt it was Shane, and I don't think Jason would have done it, he's much too nice. My eyes settle on Mikayla. Dark bangs are falling in her face as she smiles innocently at her menu. Innocent people don't smile idiotically at the menu's though. She lets out a high yelp as I kick her back and the boys both look at her, worried and confused.

"Bug" she mutters "It just surprised me". She's blushing lightly but still smiling as she looks back at her menu. Her foot bumps mine and I bump hers back and why can't I keep smiling? I know I was angry at her but I can't help it, there's this giddy feeling bubbling up inside of me as we muck around. At first it's just kicking and bumping, then it's light brushing, now her foot trails up my leg a little and I feel a hot blush spreading over my cheeks. My mind drifts back to the park weeks ago, the way he foot rubbed against mine and her fingers trailed over my skin, tracing the lines on my hand. I want to be angry, I think she deserves it for how she's making me feel, but all I can be is shy and bashful, all I can feel is a nervous fluttering in my stomach and tingling heat on my skin.

"Hey Shane, can I take your orders?". I quickly look up as the voice invades my mind and find a waitress holding up her pad and pen, waiting patiently. Ha, I knew it. 'I guess I do?', she knew his name, he's obviously a regular. I grin and quickly look at the menu, looking it over and trying to decide in a rush.

"Just a coffee" he answers. Damn, I was hoping he'd say 'the usual'. I don't know why, it'd just feel.. like a movie I guess.

"A coffee and a large chocolate chip cookie" Jason adds, looking so mature I have to hold back a giggle.

"An orange juice and a large fries" I have finally decided, I know it's not true, but I feel like the orange juice cancels out the unhealthy-ness of the fries. When she finishes writing down my order I give her a warm, friendly smile. Joanne her badge says, that's a nice name. It sounds like a waitress's name too. She looks about twenty four, has golden curls, a strawberry smile and twinkling eyes like green glass washed smooth by the ocean.

"And last but not least, an ice chocolate" Mikayla tells the waitress, smiling cheerfully. The waitress nods, smiling at Shane one last time before walking away. My hand is resting on the edge of my seat when I feel another hand brushing over the top of it lightly. I look down and see Shane taking my hand in his. I blush and smile at him. What am I doing? Shane's holding my hand and Mikayla's foot is still resting on mine. I feel weird. And… how come the feeling I get holding Shane's hand doesn't even compare to the one I get when Mikayla barely touches me?


	8. Poolside

_**A/N: **So I hope you all had a great christmas. I finally finished this chapter and now my poor brother probably wants to go to bed because it's 12:53 am and I'm in his room. Anyway, I just wanted to quickly post this. I hope it's okay, I'm not actually sure if I like this chapter. I don't wanna make mikayla seem... bitchy? Or anything like that. Anyway, thank you for all the reviews and i hope you continue to enjoy it!!_

"Mitch, could you get my back?". I look up at her as she stands over me, blocking out the sun. She's wearing this little blue bikini. I mean, really little! I'm glad Nate isn't here to see, her tanned skin exposed to the world, or at least Connect 3's backyard. I'm trying to look at her face, I am, she has the most adorable face. But her legs, her stomach… She's holding out the sun block, tapping her foot impatiently and I reluctantly take it.

"Thank you" she smiles and sits down on the end on my deck chair. The light reflected in the pool is dancing over her skin in light blue patterns like wavy neon lights as I sit up and slide down so I'm behind her. I lift up her hair delicately and move it over her shoulder and out of the way, dropping a few strands as my hands tremble. I quickly brush them aside, my finger tips grazing the skin of her back. God, I need to control myself. Calm down. This is Mikayla, my best friend, I shouldn't feel this way!

I pop open the lid of the sunscreen a pour a white swirl into the hand. It feels ice cold compared to the hot sun baring down on us. I take a deep breath and place my hands on her back. Just pretend this is someone else. Her skin is soft and warm under my finger tips as I rub the sun screen in. At first there are patterns of white before it slowly fades away. I don't want to let go now though, I don't want to pull away, and she doesn't seem to mind. I let my hands wander, massaging her back and up to the top of the shoulders before I quickly pull away. What am I doing? And why is she letting me do it?

"What's the matter?" she asks, turning back to look at me. My face is burning red and I quickly shake my head, scooting back onto my chair. What's the matter? What's the matter is I'm in love with you and you know it and your still putting me through this torture!

"N…nothing" I mutter, slipping on my sunglasses, leaning back and closing my eyes. How did I get myself into this mess?

_"You've got whipped cream on your nose" I laugh__ed, wiping the fluffy white dollop off with my finger and sticking it in my mouth "Mmm… Mickey flavour!" I grinned, trying not to think of the last time me, Mikayla and cold deserts where involved. Her head was tilted slightly to the side like she does when she's thinking and it was the most adorable thing._

_"Huh" she mumbled__ "that would explain why the waitress kept giving me weird looks". I giggled even more and she smiled at me sheepishly as I did, a light rose blush covering her cheeks. Shane kept glancing at us from the counter as he and Jason waited to pay, I loved the jealous look in his eye. No-one ever looked at me like that before. I felt special and wanted, like I wish Mikayla would make me feel. Her eyes followed mine and when they reached what I was look at she let out a heavy breath._

_"Let's go swimming!__" she suddenly exclaimed. I turned to her with both eye brows raised and she grinned broadly but looked completely serious. 'Swimming?' I thought it over. It was quite warm, and I brought my swimmers, and the boys had a pool. I couldn't remember the last time I went swimming, I think it'd been a while. I shrugged lightly in a non-committal sort of way and she took it as an affirmative yes._

_"Awesome!" her voice wa__s so bright and happy, like an up beat song, it had a tune that made you want to join in and sing and dance and smile. It was contagious, and I think I caught the hyper bug as well. I could feel myself coming down with the symptoms. First there's the smile you can't keep of your face, my lips refused to frown. Then there's the feeling like your bursting with energy, your fingers start tapping and your feet join in and soon your bouncing off the walls._

_"Let's go ask the boys"._

My skin feels hot, so hot it feels like it's burning, and maybe it is. Maybe it's just the sun. Or maybe it's the thoughts of Mikayla invading my mind that I wish would go away. Mikayla in her blue bikini. I can hear her laughing and crying out as her and the boys muck around in the pool, splashing and diving. Suddenly it feels darker behind these closed eyes, my body feels cooler. I open one eye and peek out at the much to bright world. Shane is standing over me, smiling gently.

"Come on, you have to swim!" he tells me. I push my sunglasses down a little and look at him over the top of their dark frame, unimpressed. I must admit the water looks delightfully enticing… but I don't want to. Can't he tell I'm not in the mood? I want to lie in the sun forever, maybe if I lie here long enough I spontaneously combust. He stares back and so I just roll my eyes before closing them again. I wait a moment but he doesn't seem to be moving.

"Your blocking my sun" I tell him grumpily. I want to seem moody and bitchy if it'll just mean he leaves me alone. The breeze picks up for a moment, blowing over my exposed stomach and then dies down again and he still hasn't moved. I'm starting to get annoyed but I keep my mouth shut tight and try and ignore him. Maybe if I ignore him for long enough he'll go away.

"Fine, but you forced me to do this…" he tells me.

"Forced you to wha…" I go to ask before his arms slip underneath me and lift me up into the air "Shane what are you doing?!" I cry out, clinging to him with all my might. I quickly open my eyes, pushing back my sunnies and looking around nervously. Where's he taking me? We're getting terrifyingly close to the edge of the pool here. He smiles down at me and I glare back.

"Shane…" I try and use my most fierce, strict, teacher-like voice but he just laughs and steps up to the very edge, his toes hanging over just a centimetre away from the rippling blue water "don't you Daaare!" I squeal the last word as he jumps with me still in his arms. He hits the pool first, the spray leap up and grazing my back as my toes dip in and then the rest of me comes crashing down into the water.

I take a deep breath and squeeze my eyes shut tight just before I go under. For a moment I'm floundering, arms and shirt a tangle, hair dancing all around me in a dark mass. I open my eyes slowly, looking around. It's light blue all around, the water and the pool bottom tinting everything. The sunlight filters through, peeping through the curtain of dark brown hair floating around my face and blocking my vision. Shane's grinning at me, his black hair swaying with the ripples running through the water as he moves a little closer towards me. But my airs running out, my lungs desperate and feeling like their about to burst. I push off with all my might from the bottom and come bursts out the top of the water from our underwater paradise.

"Shane you are so dead!" I scream, but I'm grinning, and I make a scene of attempting to chase after him. Jason's laughing as he watches us, me reaching out desperately towards Shane as he swims away. After a while we start up a game of Marco polo. I haven't played this game in so long, I remember playing it in Mikayla's living room in the dark years ago. I tripped over a coffee table and sprained my wrist and her parents banned us from playing it in the house.

A series of "bags not it!" rings out, from all our mouths except Mickey's as she stands off towards the side silently. She looks at us tiredly and with slight confusion, as though she hasn't really being paying attention.

"Wait, what?" she asks, proving my theory "what do you mean in?". I laugh, shaking my head at her, and the ends of my hair drag through the water leaving rippling trails behind in the peaceful blue. Pouting, she crosses her arms and looks at me with those sweet brown eyes. God, I think she's doing it on purpose now. She knows I'll do anything for her and she's taking full advantage.

"I'll be in…" I mumble unhappily, eyes downcast and voice filled with anti-enthusiasm for the job. She grins and that beautiful smile of hers makes me feel better even if I'd rather it didn't. Taking in a deep breath I glance around one last time before closing my eyes shut tight. I hear loud splashes as I begin to count and they all swim away. I spin around, once, twice, three times and then come to a stop. I don't feel completely balanced though. Something about having my eyes closed always makes me feel like I'm swaying.

"Marco!" I shout as loudly as I can and I hear three reluctant calls of "Polo" in return. One sounds close so I quickly turn and reach for, grabbing blindly in front of me as I dive towards where the voice came from. There's a loud splash, my face hit's the water and I splutter as I pull back up to hear laughter drifting further away. Damn it. Spinning around I wait a moment, ears alert to any sound of movement, feeling for any ripples in the water. Silence.

"Marco!" I yell, feeling so lost not being able to see. They could all have left and I wouldn't know. I could be standing in an empty pool on my own, eyes closed and arms out like a fool. It seems to have gone cool, I can picture what the world must look like. The sun's behind a cloud, the pool area shrouded in shadow. In my mind, the sky has gone grey and I'm looking down on the scene from above. I can see the deck chairs lined up beside the pool, the dull cement and the water reflecting the miserable sky and a little me standing in the middle, looking small and lonely. But that's not how it really is, just my pessimistic view of the world.

"Polo!" what sounds like Jason's voice in the corner far to my right.

"Polo!" Shane shouts from across the other side of the pool.

"Polo" it's soft, desperately hoping I don't hear it. I always hear Mikayla's voice though, my ears automatically listen out for it and tune in to it like no others. It's coming from close by, just behind me. I spin around quick as I can, water splashing up as I do, and I reach forward almost timidly. She's not fast enough. My hands grasp her shoulders, she's closer then I thought she was. I open my eyes slowly to find I've pinned her up against the side of the pool. Her wet hair is hanging down over her shoulders, dark strands sticking to her rose tinted cheeks.

"Your in" I breathe and the push off from the wall with my feet to get as far away as possible. We keep playing for a while but Mikayla gets out of the pool claiming she's worn out from our flight and just watches us from her deck chair, hiding behind my big black sunnies. The pool is filled with giggles and squeals, laughter and shouts as we keep swimming round. I'm trying to concentrate on the game but I keep thinking about her, glancing over to where she's sitting. She looks so serene, the beads of icy water covering her body glistening in the warm summer sun, like she's in a brochure advertising the hotel's pool.

Shane grabs me from behind, his arms slipping round my waist as he lifts me up in the air and I squeal loudly, water flying every where and obstructing our vision. He puts me down again and I turn around, giggling, and hit him lightly. He just grins back, wet hair plastered to his forehead and cheeks red. After a moment I realize we've been like that a moment too long, just looking at each other, so I quickly roll my eyes and swim away to the side, putting my arms up on the paving beside the pool. It's deliciously warm.

"Hey guys" I look up as soon as I hear her soft voice, sounding fragile "I uhh.. I think I'm go gunna take a shower before dinner" she says, giving me a smile to reassure me. I don't know what's up with her. She's been having these like, major mood swings since we got here. One moment she's all over me, driving me insane. Next she's quiet and thinking and acting weird around me. I can't figure it out. As she reaches the door she stops, one hand on the white painted door frame and turns back to look at us.

"And after dinner, Jason do you think I could talk to you?" she asks. I look and Jason and he's nodding, giving her a warm smile. Why does she want to talk to him? I thought I was the one she talked to about everything! She turns, her dark hair dripping pool water in a trail behind her as she walks away, a line of dark dots on the crème carpet as she walks over to and up the stairs and I just keep watching her go.


	9. The End Of Nate Free Days

_**A/N: **Sorry I took so long to update. But here it finally is! The next chapter! To tell you the truth, I don't like it very much.. I dunno. I'm just really tired. I'm not sure if it's very good, or as good as the last chapters. Tell me what you think!!_

_Also, there's a bit of a song in this. That's not all of it though. So I was wondering if you want to hear the rest of it later in the story? Or it you think it's just crappy and boring, in which case in can completley disapear lol I liked it at first, but now I'm leaning more towards the second option/opinion myself. Anyway, thanks for your reviews, and I really hope you continue to enjoy this. If this chapters really bad, tell me and I'll re-write it. Cos I love this story, and I don't want to fuck it up!_

I'm lying on my bed, on my stomach, flipping through the pages of one of my note books. This is where all my thoughts, hopes, dreams and fears lie, hidden between the plastic covers, scrawled quickly across the smooth paper. The starts of most of my songs are random thoughts written on napkins and receipts, later copied into my notebooks. They slowly collect and start to form songs. There's one I've been working on lately, but I'm not sure if it's one I'll ever sing publicly. It's too personal, too private. And I wouldn't want to hurt Selena, because she'd know straight away that it was about her.

The house is empty, silent. I'm the only one here. Jason, Shane and Mikayla have gone to pick Nate up from the airport. It's hard to believe my four Nate free days have flown by so quickly, and I now I'm just waiting for living hell to begin. I don't know how I'm going to survive the next week and three days.

The past three days have been… weird. Selena and Jason keep having these 'secret meetings' which me and Shane aren't invited too. So we've been getting lots of quality time. We played chess, failed to complete my rubix cube (though we tried for hours) and flicked through his old comic books. He taught me how to play some of Connect 3's songs on guitar and then we both sang along. Sometimes I can almost fool myself into believe I like him that way, sometimes I can almost forget about Mikayla. Almost, but not quite.

_"Come on, if those two are going to be having secret meetings, well then we'll just have secret meetings of our own!" Shane told me, taking my hand and leading me down the hall into his room. It was dark, as it has been ever time I've caught a glimpse of it from the outside.__ He walked in first and I followed, cautious and feeling slightly uncomfortable. I'd never been in his bedroom before._

_"So… what are we going to do in our secret meetings?" I asked, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, arms folded across my chest as I looked around. Shane laughed, kicking a shirt back underneath his bed as he walked over to his old, wooden desk and the large stack of comic books piled on top of it. I watched him thoughtfully, the way he looked at those comics as if they where treasure, an irreplaceable heirloom or a pot of gold. I could just imagine him at five years old, sitting on his fathers lap reading his brand new comic with eager excitement in his eyes. And it was only then that I realized I'd never met his parents, or heard anything about his family._

"_You ever read a comic before?" he asked me, holding one up with a bright smile. I shook my head and sat down on his bed. I'd wait till later to ask him about his family, it didn't feel like the right time. We spent the next three hours lying on his bed, reading old comic books and listening to his CD's. I lay my head on his stomach, knees bent and a batman comic held open above me as I read with intrigue. A new song started, Dashboard by Modest Mouse. I started tapping my foot absent mindedly. It had a good, strong beat._

"_Mitchie?" his voice was wavering, sounding weak and nervous. I looked up at him, head still resting on his chest, comic book in one hand. He paused for a moment, looking uncertain. Unsure of what was going on I laughed, moving up on the bed so our faces where a little closer and raising my eye brows at him as I waited impatiently._

"_Would you.. Do you want to go out with me… sometime?" he asked, avoiding looking me in the eyes. There was an annoying buzz in the back of my head, a voice whispering 'Mikayla…', but I chose to ignore it. I took my time, tortured the poor boy by thinking over it, it wasn't a decision to be made lightly, I knew that._

"_Yea, sure. That'd be nice" I told him with a broad smile, leaning up to place a quick kiss on his cheek. It didn't feel the same as when I kissed Mikey though. My lips used to tingle, my cheeks would be flushed and my stomach would be churning. I felt fine, if not a little guilty… Was I just leading him on? I wasn't entirely sure._

"Mitchie! We're home!" Shane's shouting from down stairs. I already knew though, in the dead silence the sound of the key in the lock rang out like an alarm. I'm not quite finished yet though, I just need this last line, it's on the tip of my tongue. They wont be up for another couple of minutes anyway. I can hear them shuffling round down stairs, foot steps and plastic wheels clattering on the wooden floors as the organise themselves and all Nick's stuff.

I look over what I've written so far, my final copy for now, though it could be subjected to being torn apart, mixed around and stuck back together again later. In depends if I come pack tomorrow and smile or groan. Sometimes something seems right when I'm tired and up writing at night and then I re-read it the next day after a good nights sleep and realize it's non-sensical crap.

I pick my acoustic guitar back up again, sitting it in my lap and running my fingers over the cool, smooth wood. My left hand moves up to the fret board, arranging it's self into a position it's gotten to know well lately. I start with the opening chords, strumming softly so the sound doesn't reach unwanted ears downstairs. I'm still not sure if the song is soft and delicate or loud and angry, but for now it needs to be soft. Taking a deep breath I let my gaze fall to the lyrics scribbled before in black ink and begin to sing.

"I think of you when I eat ice cream, I remember your sweet kiss, how you tasted of vanilla, just before you pulled away. And the sound of your words, as they rolled off your tongue, echo round my head, still clear as day. Just Friends. Just Friends. Just… Friends…" I'm trying to focus on strumming, on getting all the chords right, but I keep thinking about her. I keep remembering, all the inspiration for this song, every time I'd run into my room and pull out my notebook because I had some more heart ache to make into music.

"We try and go back to normal, but there's something not quite right, a pink elephant in the room, and how can you pretend it's not there? I'm just suppressing the urge, to wrap you in my arms, I want to kiss…" I stop as I hear the door creak, my fingers freezing in motion and my eyes flicking up quickly to see who's been listening. Mikayla's watching me with sad brown eyes from the door way, her hand on the half closed door.

"What's it called?" she asks quietly, staring at the notebook in my lap instead of at me. I'm still frozen, throat dry and teeth clamped closed. Shit. She wasn't meant to hear, she isn't meant to know. She takes another step into the room, still looking at the notebook. I quickly flip it closed.

"How long have you been listening?" I manage to ask. It seems neither of us are willing to answer the others question because she shakes her head silently, reaching a hand towards me. I flinch at first, but then I let her. She places her cold fingers against my cheek, biting her rosy red bottom lip. I suppress a shiver, not from the cold but from her touch.

"I'm sorry" she whispers.

_I haven't slept properly for three nights. Every night I lie awake for hours, watching her sleep beside me. She's so peaceful, she smiles in her dreams, her cheeks are lightly flushed and her messy hair lies in tangles over her face. Last night she muttered my name in her sleep, over and over, softly but desperately. She clung onto me as if I where going to disappear, hands clenching my purple cotton pyjamas. I held onto her, running my fingers gently through her hair and telling her it was okay, I was right there. She whimpered into my pyjama shirt and her body shivered against mine._

_The next morning I woke to find her still half on top of me, one arm round my waist and the other hand holding onto my collar. My cheeks burned bright red, but I didn't to move. I was so comfortable right there, lying in her arms. And then I remembered that Nate was coming home that evening._

Ten minutes later I've decided it's time to come out. I have to face her sometime, hopefully before bed because I don't fancy sleeping on the couch. I can smell a delicious scent wafting out of the kitchen, which means Jason's cooking dinner. I smile happily and tip toe down the cream carpeted stairs. The carpet feels squishy beneath my bare feet. That smell reminds me of being five years old, sneaking into the kitchen when mum wasn't looking and sneaking a chocolate biscuit because I was hungry and I couldn't wait a whole ten minutes till dinner was ready. She always said it would spoil my appetite and it usually did. Mothers are usually right.

I can hear Shane laughing as he helps Jason out (only by handing him ingredients off course, he isn't trusted with the making of the food after last time…). I think I'll help out by setting the table, I feel like doing something, I couldn't bare to be sitting round aimlessly waiting till dinners ready. When my hands have nothing to do I'm left to think, and that's never good. I can hear stifled giggles now, coming from the dining room where I'm headed. It certainly doesn't sound like Shane though, it sounds like Mikayla. I know her laugh all too well. I wonder if Shane told a joke, his jokes are always funny. He can always make me laugh, and that's what I need right now.

I walk into the dining room, looking round to see where Shane is. Instead I see Mikayla, sitting up on the dining room table, arms around Nate's neck while his arms around her waist. And their moving closer, why can't my feet move?! Why can't I look away?? Their lips meet, a slow kiss though Nate obviously wants it to be more. My legs finally work, turning me round and taking me sprinting up the stairs. I head straight for the bathroom, soon finding myself clutching the cold porcelain seat as I empty my lunch into the bowl. All I can think about is him kissing her, touching her, having her. He has everything I want, everything I will never have. He's her boy friend and we're… we're Just Friends.


	10. Friends Before Lovers

_**This story is dedicated to Westisland**  
(There will be a longer dedication at the end of the story, going on about how much they mean to me and all that crap, but I just wanted to mention it now)_

_**A/N: **I know, I know, I suck! How long has it taken me to update? Too long... I've had some pretty bad writers block. And then the internet stopped working. But I finally got over it! And accidentally wrote this chapter a little too long. It was 4119 words. So I've split it in two, and I'll post the second half as another chapter... later today? I just thought it was a little too long for one chapter and i didn't want people to be put off and decide not to read it just because this chapter was really long! ANYWAY!, Here it finally is!_

I hate not being okay with my best friend, it kills me. We hardly ever fight and I can't stand it when we do. Usually these things are resolved so easily. We sit down, and we talk about it, and we work it out. I'm just not sure if we can do that this time, it's a little more complicated then usual…

_"So…" I muttered, watching her calmly. We where sitting on my hotel room floor facing each other in silence and I wasn't sure I could stand it anymore. She told me there was something she wanted to talk to me about, some feelings she needed to discuss. I'd sensed her unease since the beginning of the week, I knew something was up. She__ sat staring at her hands, dark waves of soft hair falling in front of her face so I couldn't make out her expression._

_"Mickey, what's up?" I asked softly, reaching over to touch the back of her hand lightly with my finger tips "Hey, you can tell me anything!". She finally looked up, offering me a small smile coated in watermelon lip gloss, I could smell it even from there. Pulling at the hem of her yellow DC games T-shirt she slowly cleared her throat, preparing to speak but trying to pro-long it for as long as possible._

_"I umm… I'm jealous" she stated, looking up at me and biting her lip "Of you… and Caitlyn" she admitted, a light crimson blush growing in her cheeks. My heart ached a little, as I so wished she'd said something else, like maybe 'I'm in love with you'. But at least it wasn't something bad, at least it was something easy. I laughed, taking her hand in mine and squeezing it gently._

_"Jealous, why?" I asked, laughter still in my voice. She looked down again and for a moment my hope peaked. Could she? Could she maybe… love me, like I love her. My heart started hammering in my chest every time her lips moved as though she where about to speak, though every time it was just a slow breath._

_"It's just… you guys get to be on the same team. And your spending so much time together… And I guess I'm just jealous cos… I miss you sometimes, and I want you all to myself. I don't want to share you with the world, and I don't want to share you with Caitlyn. You're __my__ best friend" she looked up at me and turned an even darker shade of red "I guess I'm just being a little selfish. I'm sorry". I beamed at her, my trademark smile and shuffled forward so I could pull her into a tight hug._

_"I'm sorry. I do want to spend more time with you, I wanted you to be on my team. But we both have other friends who we can hang out with, okay? Besides, you know I'll always love you most of all" I told her, pressing my lips against her forehead before I pulled away. She grinned back, looking a lot lighter now, as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders._

_"I love you to!"._

This time isn't as easy. We're sitting on my bed, legs crossed and facing each other. Just after dinner I confronted her, said we needed to talk, that there where some feelings we needed to discuss. My mouth feels dry now though, all the courage has seeped from my bones and I'm feeling nervous. Mikayla keeps glancing at me and then at the door, as if trying to estimate how hard it would be to escape, which only un-nerves me even more.

"Mitch, what's up?" she finally asks, reaching towards me gently and brushing her finger tips over the back of my hand, sending goosebumps crawling across my skin. I'm trying to think but her touching me is turning my brain to mush and obliterating my verbal skills. At first I stammer, my nervous mutterings disappearing into the silence just as soon as they came and then I swallow loudly and focus on the spots on the lamp, trying to calm myself.

I want to tell her, tell her that I can't stand it. She's been all over Nate ever since he arrived. She's not usually like this, she's kissing him twenty four seven and constantly hold his hand and sitting in his lap and I'm so sick with jealousy I just can't stand it anymore. Surely she knows what she's doing with me. I just want to ask her to stop, please stop. My eyes wander from the lamp to the clock, 7:17 pm. The boys will be expecting us down stairs and ready in thirteen minutes. It's now or never.

But it's now that I realize, I can't do it. I love her, yea, but she's my best friend first and foremost, and I could never ask her to do something that could make her unhappy. My shoulders slump and I let out a groan like a strangled cat as I bury my face in my hands.

"You know what, just… forget it" I tell her, leaning back onto the soft doona cover. It excepts me gladly and I sink down into it, soft and warm, comforting. Her heavy sigh fills the room and she gets down on her hands and knees and crawls towards me. She shouldn't look so gorgeous and seductive right now. The way the low light casts shadows across her face and her dark hair swings side to side as she moves.

"Mitchie… Come on, tell me what's wrong" she pouts, now towering over me. I forgot to breath for a minute, and now find myself gasping for air, head light feeling slightly dizzy. Mikayla frowns, placing a cool hand on my arm, looking deeply concerned. She is the sweetest person I've ever met in my entire life, and not that fake kind of sweet that you find in so many people, she's absolutely sincere. Maybe that's why I was drawn to her, even all those years ago when we first met at Barney. I still remember her at seven years old, the way she gave me at coy smile before she spoke to me for the first time. And I still remember thinking 'my god she's beautiful'. But I don't have time right now to be remeniscing over what was.

"It's nothing, really! We should probably get ready, we're supposed to leave in ten minutes and we're not even dressed yet" I tell her, moving out of her reach and sitting up again. I can still feel the ghost of her touch even after her hand has slipped off my arm and is now resting on the cream doona cover, it's like hot pins and needles dancing over my skin.

_I didn't have lunch here today, I couldn't stand to be in their presence anymore. __Everyone was sitting round in the lounge room, Shane had his old, battered acoustic guitar out and Jason was holding a tambourine at the ready. Mikayla and Nate where sitting on the lounge singing along at the tops of their lungs, and she was on his lap. There fingers where intertwined like only ours used to be. As I stood watching them I closed my eyes and wished we where eight years old again, because back then she was mine and mine only. She would hold __my__ hand and kiss __my__ cheek and sit in __my__ lap and sing too only me._

_I excused myself and Mikayla hardly seemed to notice that I left, which only made me feel even crummier.__ I made my way to the only place I knew, the café just a couple of streets away. Mikayla and Jason's little private meetings had stopped since Nate arrived, probably because she'd been spending almost every second with him instead. Taking a deep breath I shook my head and pushed my sunnies back into my hair as I stepped inside._

_The moment I was through the doorway the air wa__s instantly cooler. My sandals made a slapping sound against the smooth white tiles as I made my way over to the table we'd sat at last time. I sat in the same seat and picked up the menu, staring blankly at it's front cover._

_"Good morning… Mitchie, is it?" I look up at the sound of a cheery voice calling out my name, slightly confused as I thought no-one would find me there. The owner of the voice turned out to be a much too happy waitress, waiting for my order with a broad smile that actually seemed sincere. It got me wondering, when was the last time I was sincerely happy? When was the last time I smiled a genuine smile? Probably the last time Mikayla made me laugh, more than a couple of days ago._

_"Yea… a coffee and a cheese and tomato sandwich thanks" I told her with a small, completely insincere smile__, and I struggled just to do that. Images of Mikayla and Nate where still swimming round my mind, clouding all other thoughts and creating a horrible sick feeling in my stomach. By the time she brought me my sandwich I wasn't sure I could eat it._

_"How's Shane doing? He hasn't been here for a couple of days" the waitress asked as she placed the plate gently down on the table in front of me, cheap china clinking against the hard table top. She smiled warmly at me, flicking a curl of blonde hair back behind her ear and suddenly I recognized her. It was the same girl that had served us the last time, 'Joanne' if I remember correctly. I tried to make an effort to be friendly, lifting the slightly stained coffee cup up to my mouth and taking a tentative sip before I answered. It was still a little too hot to drink and it burnt the tip of my tongue, causing me to recoil quickly._

_"He's good… Nate just got back so.. Do you know Nate?" I stopped to ask and she gave me a small nod of confirmation so I continued "And me and my friend have been visiting so we've all been hanging out a lot. Plus, it's quite warm, so we've all been lazing around in the air conditioning and the sleeping by the pool". She laughed and I felt a little better, giving her a slightly more genuine smile as I stirred my coffee slowly._

_"So, do you know Shane well?" I ask, glancing back down to the searing hot liquid swirling round and round inside the slightly off white cup. When I cautiously looked back up I found her gazing back with a knowing look, like she could see straight through me, and it unnerved me slightly. After a moment she smiled and took a seat across from me, crossing her arms on the cold surface of the small table._

_"I guess. He comes here a lot, we kind of talk. I've got to ask… do you like him?"__. The questions caught me off guard and all I could think to do was answer truthfully._

_"I don't know… But I should, shouldn't I? I mean, not only is he a charming, handsome pop star but.. he's so sweet. He's nice and funny and smart and he really likes me. Why don't I like him? I'm obviously insane…" I add, trying to make a joke of it, but when I tried to laugh I choked on the hoarse sound that came out of my mouth._

_"Yea, maybe your insane. But you fall for who you fall for" she told me softly, placing a gently hand on top of mine before she rose to her feet and headed back to the counter again, red and white dress swishing behind her as she walked. I watched her go with a sigh and muttered to myself._

_"Yea, I know. If I could choose, I wouldn't be head over heels in love with my best friend"._

"The black halter top?" she says, holding it up against herself to show me, before placing it back down on the bed and picking up another "or this cute green singlet with the little glittery bits?" she points them out and they shimmer in the lamp light. They both look gorgeous on her, but then, she could wear a garbage bag and still be the best looking girl there.

"Black. The black halter top, it looks good on you," I tell her as I pull on my leather boots "go with the black one...". She glances down at them both again before nodding and pulling off her shirt to put it on. I shouldn't be looking. God, why am I not looking away? She's wearing a plain black bra with a little pink bow in the middle and I shouldn't be looking at it. Soon she pulls the black halter top down over it though and then looks back at me with a small smile. I've been caught.

"What do you think?" she asks and for a moment I blush, till I realize she's talking about the top.

"It looks good. It looks hot" I tell her with a small smile before turning my attention back to my boots quickly, though I'm already done putting them on. It's better than looking at her though. She looks beautiful.

_**A/N: **Yea, I know! Not the best chapter so far... But there will be HEAPS more Semi goodness in the next chapter, which is already finished and ready to post. I'm going to wait a little before posting it though, give people a chance to read the first chapter before I post the second. So, I hope you liked it! :D_


	11. Send My Love To The Dance Floor

_**A/N: **And here is the second installation of this much too long chapter. This one isn't quite as long, but there's a nice bit of Semi. I think :) Tee he he... I'm so excited! lol Sorry, but this one has jealousy, alcohol, dancing, cheezy lines (or at least one!)... EVERYTHING! :D I hope you like it... And yea, I decided to post it a little early... :) Cos I got some sweet reviews, and they made me want to put it up, cos I can't wait to find out what you guys think of this chapter!! I can't wait to write the next one... ENJOY!_

I cringe slightly at the music pounding my ears as we walk towards a table off to the side. Who's idea was it to go dancing? Mikayla's, off course. I wish I hadn't helped her choose her outfit tonight, she looks absolutely gorgeous in a black halter top and dark jeans to match the dark curls falling down around her shoulders. Her hips sway as she walks, stopping as she reaches the table and dumps her jacket on a seat before turning back to Nate and placing her hands on his chest.

"Let's dance" she tells him with a confident smile and he eagerly follows her onto the dance floor. Now it's just me and Shane, alone at our little table. I take a seat on one of the bright blue stools and turn to the boy beside me. He looks cute, but that's all I can think. Cute, in a completely plutonic way, like when you tell a friend they look hot as you help them prepare for a date.

"I'm gunna go get some drinks, be right back" he tells me, leaning over to give me a quick, nervous kiss on the cheek before he hurries off. And now it's just me. I hate clubs, they're much to noisy. I can't even here my own thoughts over the blur of voices buzzing all around me and the music blasting even louder. It may have been cool outside but it's almost as hot in here as it was walking in the sun at midday. With a heavy sigh I slip off my jacket and place it on the table in front of me, still clutching the leathery material in my sweaty hands for fear of loosing it.

The base is pounding into my head repetitively and I can already tell I'm going to have a killer head ache tomorrow. This isn't what I call fun, sitting here watching my hands change colour under the lights. Mikayla's probably having a good time. I look up to try and spot her, but I don't have to look very hard to find exactly what I didn't want to see.

She has her arms flung around Nate's neck and his hands are on her waist, slowly creeping further down till they're touching the soft skin of her lower back just above the top of her jeans. Her body's pressed right up against his as they move and she runs a hand through her messy hair before glancing over at me. I can't look away. For a moment I just watch, our eyes locked as I fight back the urge to run into the bathroom and empty the contents of my stomach. Her eyes twinkle a different colour each time the lights change and a wisp of dark hair falls in front of her face but she doesn't move to brush it away.

"I'm back". And it's finally broken. I glance up at Shane as he breaks free of the crowd jostling around us and places three drinks down on the table, still holding one in his hands as he sits down beside me. I feel sick, disgustingly sick with jealousy.

"Here is your drink…" he tells me, pushing one towards me but before he can even finish I take his instead, knowing that it's alcoholic, and down in quickly "umm, right. Mitchie, are you okay?" he asks, reaching a hand towards me uncertainly. I shake my head, unsure of what to say, and lean over to press my lips against his. I don't know why, but it seemed easier then trying to talk about it.

At first he's surprised, but then he quickly starts to kiss me back. It's a little rough and clumsy, and I'm trying desperately to pretend it's Mikayla instead but it's hopeless. Mikayla is delicate and soft, like a porcelain doll. Shane's hands are too big as they cup my face and he tastes like coke with a hint of mint (not a great combination). She tasted like vanilla. I quickly pull away, feeling guilty and angry and sick.

"I'm sorry… Shane, I'm so sorry" I mutter softly as I jump down off my stool and stagger backwards slightly. I can't look at him so I just stare at my feet, clutching the edge of the table. What am I doing? I have no idea anymore. Despite all the noise around us it feels quiet. It's like we're on pause while the rest of the world keeps going, moving around us.

"It's Mikayla, isn't it" he's more telling me then asking, but I nod anyway, sitting back down again and burying my face in my hands. We both go silent again, lost in our own thoughts. God, I'm a prick! I'm a jerk! I'm a bitch! I'm a fucking idiot! Shane is this nice, sweet guy who sincerely cares about me and I'm jerking him around and using him to try and get Mikayla and I never will. He doesn't deserve this. I slowly look up, biting my lip nervously as I get up the courage to speak again.

"Look, Shane, I'm so sorry…" I start but he cuts me off before I can give the big, movie worthy speech that I've prepared in my head.

"I should have known you weren't over her. The way you look at her… Deep down I knew something was off, I knew that you still… I just didn't want to believe it" he tells me, looking up and offering me a small half-hearted smile "Don't worry about it. I guess you guys are just, meant to be together…" he trails off, looking down into the bottom of his empty cup.

"No, I shouldn't have lead you on like that. Honestly, I'm sorry. I… I wish I liked you, but sadly my heart never listens to my brain. But hey, if it makes you feel any better, I'm in the same boat you are. If not worse" I try to smile, but it doesn't quite work. Shane gives me a soft smile and stands up again, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"You want another drink? Same as last time?" he asks, reaching into the pocket of his jeans and fishing out his worn, leather wallet. Hmm… I glance back to where Mikayla and Nate are dancing and find they're still all over each other, so much that I want to walk over there, rip Nate off my Mikayla, punch him as hard as I can and tell him to stay away from my girl. I don't think that's a very good idea though, so I agree to another drink instead and lay my forehead down on the cool table top as I wait for Shane to return.

_A few days ago I over heard something. I didn't mean to, it's was completely an accident. __It was the day Nate was coming home. I'd over slept, as usual, and only woke up when I rolled out of bed at 11:47 am and hit the floor. It took me a moment to realize where I was and what happened, groaning miserably and flinging off the sheet resting over my head. At first I didn't want to move, closing my eyes and curling up amongst the covers that had migrated to the floor with me. After a couple minutes of uncomfortable napping however I decided it was time to get up._

_Half asleep, I stumbled out of the room in my pink Power Puff Girls pyjamas and made my way towards the bathroom. I don't know why, but I always wake up needing to pee. The bathroom wasn't too far along the hall and I had my hand on the door knob when I heard it.__ I recognized her voice instantly, floating out of Jason's bedroom just the next room down. His door was slightly ajar and their voices carried through the quiet house._

_"…well that's just great but, now what do I do? How am I supposed to act around her? I don't know Jason. Nate's coming today, I think I should just stick to pretending nothing's different. It's better than admitting the truth and ruining everything…" and that's when I turned and ran in the opposite direction, deciding to use the bathroom downstairs instead._

Four drinks and three songs later me and Shane are sitting at the table, surrounded by a field of empty cups, feeling like crap. The song is slowing slightly, coming to an end. I haven't danced yet. To be honest, dancing isn't really my forte, it was Mikayla's. Groaning, I lean over and rest my head on Shane's shoulder tiredly. I just want to go home. The song finally stops and out of the corner of my eye I can see Mikayla heading towards us, Nate trailing along behind her.

"Mitchie! Are you really going to sit there all night?" she asks as she takes a seat across from me, picking up her drink and taking a sip before quickly putting it back down. It's probably about room temperature by now and she hates warm coke. I smile and give her a meek nod, sitting up properly again. Her cheeks are flushed deep red and I can see the sweat rolling down her neck. She looks hot. Temperature wise off course. At my answer she laughs and rises to her feet, walking around the table till she's behind me and wrapping her arms round my waist. I can feel her breath on the back of my neck before she rests her chin on my shoulder and looks up at me.

"Wont Shane dance with you?" she asks, glancing across at him and rolling her eyes "come on, dance with me" she insist, taking me by the hand. Maybe it's the alcohol, or maybe it's just because at least this way she wont be all over Nate for a while, but for some stupid reason I agree. She leads me past the table and onto the dance floor without another word. We weave between the people, my hand still in hers, till we reach a space and we stop. I don't know what to do now, but she seems to. I'm a clutz. She tried to teach me to dance once and I tripped over my own feet, and then I tripped over hers and then I tripped her. We ended up lying on the floor, half on top of each other, laughing so hard our stomach hurt and our eyes watered. That memory is still playing in my mind as she pulls me closer and then suddenly it's gone and all I can see is her.

"Mikey..?" I ask shyly, look her in the eyes for the first time as she wraps her arms around my neck. Instinctively I place my hands gently on her waist, and it doesn't feel weird or awkward at all, it feels perfect, like they where made to sit there. Mikayla smiles nervous, though I'm not sure why she's nervous, and moves even closer so her body is just touching mine.

"Just follow my lead" she tells me, her voice a little shaky. Her eye lids flutter closed and she starts moving to the music and I blindly follow, just trying not to step on her feet. As the tempo builds she moves more, pushing up against me, driving me wild, and then pulling away again, twirling around. By the time the song reaches the chorus I'm really into it to, eyes closed and music filling my head, guiding me. I don't care what I look like, I'm lost in the rhythm and it feels good. She's griping my hands and that feels even better. After a moment I dare to open my eyes again, watching her with a genuine smile. The beat is moving through her body and she knows exactly how to use it. She's gorgeous.

After a moment she stops, breathing heavy and sweat dripping from her forehead. Her eyes open and she looks up at me, blushing under my unwavering gaze. The song has stopped, but I don't really care, I don't want to move. I didn't realize how close we got, she's pressed right up against me and her lips… They're not that far away. All I have to do is lean just that little bit further forward and I'd be kissing her. She moves one of her hands down from my shoulder to the centre of my chest, so it's pressed between us.

"You're heart's beating… really fast. Is that normal?" she asks, sincere concern in her eyes. My lips crack into a smile as press my forehead against hers and whisper:

"Only when I'm this close to you".


	12. MTF

_**A/N: **OMG! WHAT IS THIS?? THE FINAL CHAPTER OF JUST FRIENDS?!?! FINALLY!! lol I know, I'm a terrible writer, I'm a horrible person. Pretty much, I FAIL MISERABLY! But on the bright side, I FINALLY finished this. I sat down tonight and I was like 'I Am Going To Finish That Story, If It's The Last Thing I do!!' :) So... I hope you guys like it._

_ALSO! I'd like to thank EVERYBODY who reviewed on this story. They're are some awesome people who wanted to see this finished. This is for you! :D it took FOREVER to get here (seriously, how many months now?) my writers block was terrible. Hope you can forgive me. And.. HERE IT IS!_

Music fills the dark space of Shane's room, curtains closed and keeping out the mid afternoon sunlight as I strum gently over the steel strings of a guitar. My calloused finger tips move into the right chords with ease, clamping down in well known positions along the fret board without need for thought. It's all second nature to me now, these old songs I've played a million times over. I let the familiar notes and melodies fill up my head, creep into every spare crack and crevice in this room till there's no space left to think.

"Nate…" the faint sound of a voice from somewhere outside this room brakes through the gentle guitar chords "Nate!" and now it's closer, louder. Suddenly the bed room door bursts open, the silhouette of a curly haired boy standing in it's wake. My hand freezes mid strum, smooth plastic pick still clasped between my fingers as the last notes ring out and die softly in the stale air. I wait for something to happen, guilt gripping my stomach at the sight of him. The dark of the room distorts his features, and I'm thankful to the shadows for masking the look I'm sure is etched onto his face. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, hands buried deep within the pockets of his hoodie, and it seems that now he's broken through to reach me he isn't quite sure what to say.

"Mikayla left, took a plane back home about an hour ago" cracks run through his voice as the sentence spills out hastily, and I can see in the small amount of light streaming in behind him that the boys eyes are cast towards the floor "she broke up with me, and then she left". And now the guilt is a cold, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's slimy like jello and leaves a bitter taste in my mouth as all the thoughts I'd been creeping out come rushing back at full force and cram themselves into my head. It's a whirlwind of voices and thoughts and ideas and memories, all buzzing so loud I can't separate one from another. There's one though, one that sears into my conscious as Nate turns and walks back out the door.

_My corny line hung in the air with the echoing beats of the last song before they fade into the next,__ and then as thumping music began to pulse again and my heart beat rapidly against her hand in time to it, something happened I'd never have expected. The smooth, milky taste of vanilla. It was laced with a hint of warm coke still tingling on her tongue. Our mouths melded together, delicate but no where near as slow as the first time. Her gentle lips pressed against mine, making them burn feverishly at each shaky contact, until she pulled away again, eyes searching mine._

_"What are you doing?" I breathed out uneasily, mind still racing and body awash with burning emotions overpowering coherent thoughts. Her hands snakes up from my shoulder, sweet touch sending shivers down my skin as her finger tips brushed up my neck to stroke down my flushed cheek._

_"Kissing you." Her dark eyes swam with poetic lines I'd been dying for her to say, proclamations of love and confessions of hidden feelings. But an anger blazed within me, a fury at her for having bad timing and being so afraid and going about things all the wrong ways. Why couldn't she have told me the first time? All she had to do was kiss me back all those months ago to save all these broken hearts, ones already torn apart and ones that would soon crack._

_"What? What happened to Just Friends? Mikayla, don't do this to me!" my voice wavered with each broken word as I stepped back, pulling myself away from her intoxicating touch._

_"Mitchie, I…" I shook my head, flinched at her hand as it reached out for me. Her eyes dulled at the hurt look I wore. My mind was a mess. Everything I wanted had come about in a way I never wanted it to, and I couldn't take it._

_"I think I wanna go home." My voice __was stiff with an icy cold edge, and then I turned on my heels and walked away, back to where Shane and Nate where waiting at the table, unaware of the events that had occurred. I took Shane by the hand, pulled him up quickly and dragged the confused rock star towards the exit without a word. And as we reached the door I could restrain myself from glancing back into the writhing crowd of sweaty bodies, only to find Nate giving his band mate an encouraging look and Mikayla falling defeated into a bar stool beside him, swiping at her eyes with the backs of her wrists._

"What are you going to say?" I shove the clothes into my suit case without much thought, cramming scrunched up t-shirts and crinkled jeans anywhere they'll fit. The cute jacket Mickey bought me for my last birthday and the socks she jokingly gave me on Christmas are the only things folded and carefully placed on top of the overflowing mess. Shane reaches forward to help me, using one strong hand to push it all firmly down whilst zipping it up with the other. I stand back and watch, running fingers through my tangled hair tiredly.

"I was kind of hoping she'd do the talking. I've spilled all my feelings, made my confessions, rambled on about how cute she is when she sneaks pickles from the pantry and dances to my music. I figure, it's her turn, to tell me what on earth is going on…" He nods slowly as I talk, turning to flash me a killer smile, the one that used to make me sigh and wonder 'why am I not in love with this boy?'. After the past few days of him taking care of me, bringing food up to his room where he'd made me a bed on his floor and sitting with me silently as I played guitar, I've realized things are perfect as they are. He's like a brother to me, and I wouldn't have it any other way. After a moment of pondering, dark hair falling in front of his dreamy eyes, he scratches his head and looks directly at me.

"Then shouldn't she be the one chasing after you?" I laugh as I slip on my boots, leaning down to zip up the sides and letting the hair hang in front of my sighing eyes.

"Things never happen how they're supposed to." He nods thoughtfully and picks up my bag, heaving it off my bed before shooting me a look "I squeezed in a little shopping time with Kevin while I was hear." I grin and he simply rolls his eyes. My heart aches a little, the moment so reminiscent of a dozen memories with Mikayla, rolling her eyes and sighing as I tried on the three hundredth outfit and asking her what she thought.

"You ready to rock and roll?" Shane asks, placing a hand on my shoulder gently. I come back to reality, my eyes having fallen to the floor as I spaced out, to spot something sticking out from beneath the bed.

"Yea… just a sec." He nods and leaves, no questions asked, another reason I love that boy so much. As soon as he's gone I fall to my knees on the soft carpet, hands reaching across the cream threads towards what seems to be a scrunched up piece of paper. My hands close around what seems to be a paged ripped from an exercise book, and I carefully open it up to reveal what's inside. Across the paper in messy pen something is scrawled, the writing slightly distorted by all the folds and creases.

'_I love you_'

As I start to stand when something falls from the endless creases of the crumpled paper, a glint of silver before it hits the floor, and my eyes follow it down curiously. Atop the carpet sits a delicate silver chain lying in a pile, the pendant hanging off it sitting gently of the soft threads. Crouching back down I pick it up in my hand, metal cool to my skin, and lift it into the light. It's a guitar pick made of thin silver, engraved with initials '_M.G. 4 M.T_'.

"I was gunna have it say MTF, but I thought that was a little lame, and this is much more romantic anyway." My head whips round at the sound of that voice, quickly finding the uncertain smile from which those words flowed. She's standing in the door way fiddling with the hem of her t-shirt, eyes trying to question my intentions without having to ask the words.

"I didn't even make it to the airport" she continues "I end up at that Tiger something Café, sat in their for about three hours with no idea what to do. I drunk like, eight ice chocolates" she laughs nervously, almost managing to pull my mouth into a smile with the sweet sound "but, I couldn't go. Not without you."

"What does MTF stand for?" I ask, running my fingers over the cool metal links of the necklace in my hand. She smiles a little more certainly now, taking another step into the room, and when I don't back away she takes this as a good sign.

"**More Than Friends**." My heart flutters inside my chest, and for a moment I almost think I can taste vanilla ice cream on the tip of my tongue. "Mitchie, I'm sorry. I can't just be friends with you. I thought that's what was best, I thought I didn't feel that way about you. But then, these feelings… I started to realize what they where, and they where powerful, and I tried to ignore them, cos I'd already told you I didn't love you back, but… The truth is that, I do. Mitchie, I really love you, and I-" the sound is muffled beneath our mouths as I press my lips to hers.

It feels so good to be kissing her, to be touching her and holding her and not restraining each movement around her. For a moment I'm uncertain, arms gripping her arms nervously, vanilla dancing on my taste buds tantalizingly. Then she kisses me back, wraps her arms around my waste and moves her lips gently against mine, and I know everything's alright. Because we never could be **Just Friends**, some part of me knows that me and Mikayla where always destined to be more than that.


End file.
